Atonement
by Meredith Paris
Summary: Azkadellia doesn’t inform her sister of this, but she agrees with the people of the O.Z.
1. Chapter 1

Azkadellia doesn't inform her sister of this, but she agrees with the people of the O.Z. It's been nearly one annual since the double eclipse and the citizens of the O.Z. are crying out for her execution. The first few days after the eclipse, her family is slowly starting to relearn itself and DG is starting to find out what being a princess of the Royal House of Gale all entails. Azkadellia watches her sister quietly; the guilt is becoming a familiar burden around her shoulders.

But it's not until the first assassination attempt that Azkadellia discovers the level of hate and scorn the people of the O.Z. have for her. She had thought with the witnesses who were there, the viewing that the Witch made of her defeat, and DG's vehement defense of her sister that they were starting to bring the people over.

But it was Beatrix in her bedroom with a simple but nasty looking knife that drove home the point that the people of the O.Z. will never forget nor forgive her. And as the details of her – the _Witch's_, Azkadellia has to forcibly remind herself – crimes against the O.Z. begin to reveal themselves daily, the people's cry for justice and subsequently her execution grow louder and stronger.

The look in her mother's eyes is filled with pity and love for her eldest daughter but Azkadellia was always good at reading people and she sees that not quite hidden emotion of blame in her gaze.

She tries to tell the servants of the various castles that her family live in that it wasn't her, it was the Witch but her efforts are failing. She doesn't know when she started to agree with the people of the O.Z. only that she does. But she doesn't tell DG this. Her younger sister is finding her footing in the new land and doesn't need to be bogged down by her sister's calm acceptance that her execution is only a matter of time.

Azkadellia slips through Finaqua, accepting the glares of hate from the inhabitants. She ignores DG's calls, her father's inquires. She walks up staircases, letting her body guide her where she's going. She ends up on top of a tower. The wind is blowing today and Azkadellia lets it whip her hair around her face, letting it become tangled and knotted. She walks to the edge of the tower and rests her hands on the wall. Closing her eyes, she feels the suns hit her face and she turns her head up at them. It's peaceful and quiet and Azkadellia can feel the guilt, the horror, the sadness start to slip away. This disturbs her as she feels this is her punishment for what happened. But oddly she doesn't go chasing after them.

She doesn't know how long she's standing up there when she hears footsteps behind her. She keeps her back turned. Let them do what they will – it's the least she deserves. It's only when they don't do anything, just stand there watching her is when she opens her eyes and turns around.

The person standing there makes the guilt, horror and sadness return ten-fold.

She doesn't look into his eyes; she concentrates on the stone floor. Jeb Cain stands there, arms clasped behind him, simply watching her. She doesn't have to look up at him to know what he's thinking. They remain like this for a while, her burden settling heavily on her shoulders, Jeb stoically standing there.

"I tried to stop her," Azkadellia blurts out. "I fought against her, her choices every time I could. But she was too powerful, too knowledgeable for me to do anything." Jeb now has his hands resting at his side, not saying a word. She rushes on, "I never meant for any of this to happen. When I could wrestle control away from her, I tried to counteract her orders." For some reason, she particularly wants forgiveness from this man. "I almost succeeded a few times. I know that the citizens of the O.Z. are calling for my execution. I've accepted the fact that my execution is just a matter of time." She can't look up at him, no matter how much she wants or should, "I am truly and deeply sorry for every thing I caused you, your family and the people."

"It's time to go below," Jeb answers and she lets out a sob. Resigned, she tries and fails to control her sobbing and walks past him. She idly notices that he doesn't give her the wide berth that all but her family and her sister's three companions give her. But that could be because the tower is not that wide. She manages to control her sobbing to only tears when the two reach the main floor of Finaqua. She bows her head, letting her hair cover her face and makes her way out to the lake.

She reaches her customary spot and sits down, rubbing her hand against her eyes. A handkerchief appears in front of her vision; she glances up and Jeb is standing there, an unreadable expression on his face. She accepts it.

For a long time, a formerly possessed Princess and a former resistance fighter look across the lake.


	2. Chapter 2

_Title: _Atonement

_Author:_ Meredith Paris

_Characters:_ Azkadellia, DG, slight mentions of Cain, Jeb, Ambrose, a few OC's.  
_Pairing:_ n/a  
_Word Count:_ 1,226; according to MW.  
_Summary:_ The day is sunny and windy, not a cloud in the sky. It reminds her of that day so many months ago at Finaqua and it's all she can do to not look at Jeb Cain.  
_Warning:_ Character death.  
_Disclaimer:_ Tin Man and all recognizable characters are the property of Sci-Fi, NBC Universal, et al. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is the property of L. Frank Baum and his estate. No harm is meant or intended.  
_Author's Note:_ At time of writing this, I just saw the movie 'Atonement'. Also I'll give brownies to anyone who catches the Anne Boleyn and Catherine Howard references. And as always, a special thank you must go out to trystan830// tryswriter (on LiveJournal), Alamo Girl (on LiveJournal she's known as alamogirl80), and Kiera Kingsley (on LiveJournal she's known as queenkiwi) for their beta jobs. 'Atonement' was originally going to stay a one-shot but Moony-Blues is the one who gave the carrot to the bunny.

The day is sunny and windy, not a cloud in the sky. It reminds her of that day so many months ago at Finaqua and it's all she can do to not look at Jeb Cain. The day feels like an out of body experience, and this will be the only emotion she feels. She wonders why he is walking with her right now. The other guards with her were quick to inform Azkadellia many times that this posting was not their choice. The noise of the people is getting louder but she doesn't let her footsteps--or her heart--falter. This is what she deserves; this is what the people of the O.Z. deserve.

She's not aware of it, but the expression on her face is calm and peaceful. They reach the boundary between the tower and the green. Rufus, one of the guards assigned to her, opens the door and she steps out.

_tmtmtm_

The verdict is read out and Azkadellia tightens her hands into fists, her fingernails drawing blood from her palms. Guilty was a foregone conclusion and she knows this, but actually hearing it makes her feel as if the level of guilt she feels inside herself is slowly starting to increase. She nods her head to the council arranged before her and turns to leave. The guards take her to her cell and as they're leaving, she notices a new guard in their ranks. But he disappears before Azkadellia can ask why Jeb Cain is part of her guard detail.

She wakes up, tears rolling down her face. Her hands go to her cheeks, feeling the tears hit her fingertips. The Witch would have never allowed Azkadellia to cry. She didn't allow her any tears at DG's funeral, and she didn't when Azkadellia learned of the news that her father had been banished. The Witch didn't allow tears when her mother was placed inside the globe or when Ambrose lost half of his brain. Tears were a sign of weakness, and at that thought, sobs burst forth from her.

_tmtmtm_

The gathered crowd realizes she's entered the green and Azkadellia hears the booing and the jeering. She walks out further, hands going to pick up her skirt. She's dressed in yellow, the traditional sign of mourning in the O.Z, and Azkadellia is wearing yellow to mourn the victims, not herself as the crowd seems to think. The platform is before her and she goes to it, noticing it looks new and unused unlike the one that was there for the past fifteen annuals. Her guards reach the steps and two stand at the bottom and Jeb and Rufus climb before her, taking the outermost spots in the enclosed platform. They line up almost perfectly with the block. Someone would later describe her walk from the edge of the green to the top of the platform as gliding. As if she was merely walking in one of the many gardens of her palace, instead of walking to her execution.

_tmtmtm_

A few days before, the head jailer comes in her cell to visit her.

"Her Highness the Queen, your mother, wishes me to inform you that you will not be hanged or burned. A swordsman from Urlas will be coming in." He stiffly informs her.

"Thank you, sir." Azkadellia says. "Please tell Her Highness my mother that I thank her for this small grant of kindness." Her attention is now on her hands as the jailer takes this as a dismissal. Just as he's about to open the door, a laugh escapes from her. It's not filled with happiness or joy—it's filled with irony and hurt.

"Master Jailer," she says and he turns around, "he shall not have much trouble, for I have a little neck. I shall be known as the Headless Princess!" Her hand is at her throat and she's laughing. The jailer resists the impulse to make the sign of Larine, who is the lone female god of the O.Z., and leaves.

_tmtmtm_

Her two ladies-in-waiting take her cloak and her shoes. Azkadellia turns and walks to the block. There she stops. "Do you forgive me?" the executioner asks his standard question, and she turns towards him and answers yes.

"Take your place," he replies, and Azkadellia kneels. She lays her head on the block and spreads her arms. The executioner unsheathes his sword and Azkadellia's eyes involuntarily glance at him. Forcing herself to drag her attention back to the crowd, which is quieting down, she closes her eyes and feels the cold metal hit her neck. It doesn't cut through anything and she takes a deep breath in.

The executioner raises his sword a second time.

_tmtmtm_

It's the day before her execution and she has just sent Juliet with Iowan to fetch the master jailer. In her weeks in the tower, she's been teaching herself how to knit. It alleviates the long days and it doesn't give her time to think or cry. The door clinks and the jailer walks into her little cell.

"You asked for me?" he questions. Azkadellia sets the knitting aside and looks up at him.

"Yes. I was wondering if I might be able to have the block delivered to my room." It's a most unusual request and she knows this, but she doesn't want to embarrass anyone by messing up. If she can, she'll make the executioner's job easier to handle. A few hours later, the block is waiting for her in the middle of her cell after her walk. Azkadellia stops suddenly in her cell after her walk and stares at it. A simple block of wood makes this seem impossibly real and now is when she starts to cry, then sob, and then wail. This is the only time she's cried other from the first night here.

After supper, she spends hours trying different positions, first laying her neck one way, then another way. She quizzes her ladies-in-waiting about the best way she looks.

_tmtmtm_

DG is in the crowd, under a glamour. It's the only way Cain, her parents, and her personal guard would allow her to go and she'd had a difficult time convincing them to let her go in the first place. She wishes there were some way she could let her sister know she was here, but Azkadellia requested that no one attend. DG is positive that Azkadellia wouldn't have liked her being there but someone had to be there, someone that loves her.

The drums rumble once and Azkadellia steps out. Through a haze of tears, DG watches her sister make her way through the crowd to the platform. She grabs onto Cain's hand and he doesn't let go.

Azkadellia takes off her cloak and shoes, says a few words to the people there, and lays her head down. The executioner raises his sword once, then twice. DG is aware of Cain pushing her roughly through the crowds, through doors and into a room where he guides her onto a chair. DG hears sobs--angry, coughing, harsh sobs--and she wonders a bit dazedly who's crying so hard, when she feels Cain sitting down next to her. She takes one shuddering breath in and locks her arms around him, her face burrowing into his chest as she questions what she came home to. Cain's slowly rubbing her back, muttering what's supposed to be nonsense into her hair.

She wonders why he's muttering those words and phrases. Because no, it will not be all right or okay, because it can never be okay, because she just saw her sister beheaded.


	3. Chapter 3

_Title:_ Atonement, Chapter Three  
_Author:_ Meredith Paris  
_Rating:_ PG/K  
_Characters:_ Azkadellia, DG, slight mentions of Cain, Jeb, the Queen, a few OC's.  
_Pairing:_ DG/Cain, Az/Jeb  
_Word Count:_ 1,114; according to MW.  
_Summary:_ But if one were to look more closely, they would see that her knuckles are turning white and her fingernails are digging into the flesh of her palm.  
_Disclaimer:_ Tin Man and all recognizable characters are the property of Sci-Fi, RHI Entertainment, Genius Entertainment, NBC Universal, et al. The Wonderful Wizard of Oz is the property of L. Frank Baum and his estate. No harm is meant or intended.  
_Author's Note:_ Angst and lots of it. It does mention the character death previously mentioned in chapter two. I thought I was done with this angst riddled story and then I was talking to Celia Stanton, the plot bunny bit, she gave it carrots, and chapter three came out at 2:30 in the morning. The placement of this particular chapter is before chapter two but read chapter two first. As always, a huge thank you to Alamo Girl, Celia Stanton, Erin and Trys for their help and beta jobs.

* * *

She is sitting primly on her bed, back straight, shoulders square. One would think from just her posture alone that she is waiting for someone to come and find her. But if one were to look more closely, they would see that her knuckles are turning white and her fingernails are digging into the flesh of her palm.

The residuals of Beatrix's shouts still echo in her ears and the face of her would be assassin is intermingled with intense hatred and bone-crushing sadness. Azkadellia had dismissed everyone from her chambers – including her sister, whom Azkadellia had snapped at to get out. Azkadellia had known that convincing the people of the O.Z. would be difficult but she wasn't expecting this. If Beatrix, someone she thought accepted the chronicle of events the Queen had sent out, could do this, then what about those who didn't? What are they going to do? She notices that even after four months, the servants still give her a wide berth and this is not done out of respect.

_"You killed my children!" Beatrix's anguished voice echoes and Azkadellia has to bite back the rebuttal, the apology, the admission of guilt. Again._

She releases her shoulders just a bit and closes her eyes. She realizes that nothing she can or wants to do will bring back Beatrix's children but the urge to try is there.

There's a knock at the door and Azkadellia ignores it. The person out there knocks again. Azkadellia simply lies down on the edge of her bed, watching the knife fall from Beatrix's grasp, one of the guards forcing it from her fingers. It clanks on the floor and it's simple looking but Azkadellia knows it's particularly dangerous. The door opens and her sister walks in, DG's bare feet make a slapping type noise against the floor. Azkadellia doesn't acknowledge her sister's presence, not even when DG lies down behind her and places a hand on Azkadellia's upper arm.

"Az-" DG tries to speak but Azkadellia cuts her off with a forceful 'no'. DG lapses into silence.

The two sisters lay there in silence for the rest of the night.

_Dear DG,_

_This is the night before my execution. It seems to be typical that condemned prisoners write letters, and I find myself resorting to it as well. I now understand why they do this – this is their final act._

_Tomorrow, I am wearing yellow. Yellow, as you may remember, is the color of mourning in the O.Z. I am wearing yellow for every one who perished or suffered for the past fifteen plus annuals. Tomorrow is for them. Maybe with my death, they (and their families) can find some peace. Perhaps the O.Z. may find some peace or begin that process tomorrow._

_I've known tomorrow was coming for a long time now; I've accepted it. When Beatrix tried to attack me, I fought against it. But knowing what I know about the people tomorrow needs to happen for them._

_The day in the cave. Those five minutes which caused all this to happen. All of this could have been prevented if you hadn't let go. There were days – especially in the beginning and the first few months after the Eclipse – when I absolutely hated you. I hated you for the fact that if you hadn't let go of my hand – hadn't gone into the cave; none of this would have happened. The O.Z. wouldn't have suffered; I wouldn't have suffered. You have utterly no idea how much it hurt to have the Witch overtake me. How much it pained me to see the Witch's orders being ordered out because I ordered them._

_However, the past annual has left me with plenty of time to think and explore and discover myself. If you take two things away from this letter, let it be this:_

_I forgive you and I love you, little sister._

_Please remember that over the annuals. I do truly love and forgive you._

_I'm not certain if Mother will extend me the same forgiveness I'm extending to you. She states that she loves me but I can see the blame in her eyes. I'm not certain if I can forgive her either. She knew that there was something wrong with me from the week that we were at Finaqua to the time at the Northern Palace. But yet she chose to do nothing to save me and in my mind, she is the one responsible for the violent coup that resulted three annuals later._

_The dawn is approaching and I want to be done with this letter before the time comes for me to leave. My heart is empty – it feels like it's been encased in titanium to keep anything from entering or exiting. Perhaps this is for the best. I shall show a brave face to the O.Z. This leads me to a request that you already know._

_I don't want anyone there. Tomorrow is going to be difficult enough for everyone and I don't want to add to it. I ask you to please not to show up. Be with our parents in this terrible hour._

_My other request for you is going to sound strange coming in this form of letter but I hope you heed it._

_Go after your Tin Man._

_I can already hear you protesting that he's not your Tin Man but he is, DG. I think he's been yours and you've been his since you freed him from the iron maiden. I've had many opportunities to observe the two of you over the last annual and my skills at reading people have never diminished. He cares for you DG in more than a platonic way. I know you are definitely falling for him. So it's not two things that I ask you to remember from this letter, it's three._

_I love you, I forgive you, and go after Wyatt Cain._

_Writing of Wyatt Cain brings me to his son. Jeb is part of my detail and I've never worked up the courage to ask why. It may be because I'm afraid of what his answer will turn out to be. I don't think I could bear it if was to insure that tomorrow happens. But he, out of everyone, would have the best reason to say this and that would just break my heart. I'm not certain of what I feel for him but I think it's rather like what you feel towards your Tin Man. I regret the lost possibilities, of what that could be will never be. I've made my peace with that._

_If tomorrow shall be my atonement, then let it be._

_Azkadellia_


End file.
